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How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives (Paperback)
My Instagram followers know I am deeply concerned about the future of our kittehs. Moral turpitude. Wrong attitudes. Staff who do not feed felines on time. Be prepared. Do your part to save the kittehs from the sex, drugs, and Satanism! [Herbert]— From How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
The cats of America are under siege!
Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives.
For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?”
Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!
About the Author
Zachary Auburn is a writer and artist whose 'zines include an analysis of every outfit worn by the Golden Girls in the first season, a Choose Your Own Adventure about a tortured relationship (which Slate called a "small masterpiece"), and a field guide to the aliens on Star Trek. He has been profiled in the Portland Mercury, Catster magazine, and Utne Reader.